Why Are You Going Back to Africa?

...Why would I not?

I suppose it never really was a question to me whether I would return to Ethiopia or not. From the moment I stepped foot in that precious country, the question never was, 'will I return?' It was, 'when will I return?'

It's not an option to not go back. How could I not?

So, once I got back to America last summer, I began praying about when God would have me return. While my heart desperately longed to return this summer, God had a better plan. In order to give my soul some rest and to get some financial footing, God pointed me toward the summer of 2013.

Throughout the crazy process of transitioning to college life over the past year, I spent a lot more time than anticipated longing for Africa. Going to Africa changed me. When I got back last year I often referred to the idea that I left part of my heart in Africa.
I fully expected that feeling to wear off over time.
But, it really never did.
Sometimes, it even seemed to grow stronger.
Some part of me - something now ingrained deep within my being - longs desperately for that dirty, smelly, torn-down, blessed country.

I need to go back.
Not one day has gone by over the past year when I did not think, with fondness, about my country abroad. While I have been able to keep my focus and priority on the ministry God has placed me in here, and while I love and fully enjoy the movement I get to be a part of on campus, my heart feels a bit torn sometimes.
Torn between American and Ethiopia.
Right now, it seems, God has allowed me to have both.
What a blessing.

The Big Bread

I recall one day last year when I was particularly longing to be in Ethiopia. I missed the people there. I missed the smells and the tastes and the weather. I longed for the funky trees and the dirt roads and the barefoot orphans chasing me down the street. I missed greeting friends with three kisses on the cheek. I missed shaking the hand of every single person upon entering a room. I wanted popcorn served with sugar and coffee so strong I could gag. I longed to fall asleep to the aroma of bug-spray-soaked sheets. I missed donkeys and cows right beside me as I walked down the streets. I craved green oranges and the big bread. I yearned for morning devotions taught in Amharic and English, dancing and praising God like He was something to get excited about, watching a child's face as he received his first pair of shoes, and taking warm dinner to a lonely security guard each evening.

Green Oranges!

And on this day, I wept.
I wept for Africa. For the people who were in need. For my inability to comfort them. For how much I take for granted. For how much faith they have despite their circumstances. For my little boy, uncertain of his heart's condition. For my great friend, working so hard for so little.
It is not often that I weep for Africa.
But on this day, I did.
And I knew I had to go back.
Not because Africa needs me.
But because I need Africa.

I hear it said sometimes as a joke, "God, I'll go wherever you want, but please don't send me to Africa."
It's funny though.
Because God sending me to Africa was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
And, I am so incredible grateful that He is sending me back.
I know God doesn't need me to do the work that he has planned for that country.
I know He could use anyone who was just willing to go.

I guess I'm just overwhelmingly blessed, that although God didn't need me to do His work, He has chosen me and is allowing me to be a part of His perfect plan for Ethiopia.

One of my best friend named Tigist.
She is 21 years old and she works full time in Ethiopia as a social worker for Blessing the Children. Last year, when I met her, she was 20, working more hours than she was scheduled for, for no pay. She told us she had to work with the organization for so long and acquire a certain number of children to care for before she started receiving a salary. She spent every single day visiting the homes of orphaned and impoverished children. She played with them and prayed with them and loved on them and their families. Her love for these kids was so incredible. She loved them as if they were her own. When I commented on how well she loved the children, she told me, "A lot of these children don't have parents, but God has given them to me so I can be their mother." Her devotion to working for the Lord and pouring every ounce of her love out on the children amazed me. I am 19. She was 20. And, she was born and raised in that impoverished nation. I know that what she was doing at her age was far beyond anything I could be capable of at my age. This woman blew my mind. Tigist and I write letters back and forth as often as the mail system will deliver them. Right now, she is still working for BCI full time, finally receiving pay. With her salary, she is taking a bus into the city an hour away every evening to attend college.
Like I said, this woman blows my mind.
And, oh, how I cannot wait to return to her!

My faraway sister, Tigist

My sweet baby boy Nati will be one of the first I beg to see upon returning to Ethiopia. I began sponsoring this darling right after I returned last year, and he has made an imprint on my heart unlike anything I've ever felt before. I believe that I  have quite possibly never loved anyone the way I love this little boy. He is part of me now. I cannot believe I am going to have the chance to hold this little guy in my arms again.

The blessings God has lavished upon me are innumerable.

The day I met Nati

I get to go back to Africa.

Why am I going back?
Like I said,
How could I not?

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" -- Isaiah 6:8

Simplifying

"Seek to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, so that you may walk properly in the presence of outsiders and not be dependent on anyone." 1 Thes 4:11-12

I have been spending the last few months attempting to simplify my life. I can't say that I'm succeeding phenomenally or anything, but I'm trying. I'm trying to get rid of my excess clothes. I'm trying to weed through all of the crap I have accumulated under my bed, in my closet, and in the attic over the years. My dorm room next year will measure ten feet by eight feet, and I am super stoked to be forced to downsize my life into that space. 

I'm trying to hold myself accountable to not buy anything that is not a necessity. While I am utterly failing at this concept, it is something that I want to continue to reach for. 

You see, the thing about this stuff is that it's slowing me down. I want to be free and light and able to pick up and go anywhere God sends me. Recently I learned of a couple from New Zealand who moved themselves and their young children to a less-then-glamorous house on a dirt street in third-world Ethiopia where they will be serving as full-time missionaries. And, I thought to myself..."What if God called me to do that?" Even if my spirit was willing to go, I would have a lot of things to manage before I could actually leave. There would be so much stuff to go through. So many things I rely on that would have to be cut off. But, what I want... what I believe may be God's desire for us, is the ability to get up and go, wherever he calls me, whenever he calls me. 

“The simplification of anything is always sensational.” 
― G.K. Chesterton

Going to Ethiopia... changed my life. It changed so many things about the way I live and move and breathe. It drastically altered what I desired to be satisfied. 

America is so... distorted... in it's mindset of what is enough.

There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less. --G. K. Chesterton

I'm choosing to desire less, because I know that nothing on this earth will ever truly satisfy me. 

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. And, I am the rich man. 

Lord, help me simplify my life. 

When you picture Jesus, do you ever see him carrying a bunch of stuff around with him? As he traveled from place to place, was he carrying a backpack or perhaps a few suitcases of odds and ends to increase his comfort? Did he have a bedroom back at Mary and Joseph's home, full of keepsakes and other items collecting dust?

I'm almost positive he didn't. It just wouldn't make any sense. Jesus didn't belong here. This world was not his home. He was only a temporary resident fulfilling a mission, awaiting the day he returned Home. Why in the world would he have...stuff? 

And, cannot the exact same be said for you and me?

"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body...." Philippians 3:20

So here I go, on a long path of attempted simplification. How truly I can ever do that in this country, I'm not sure. But I'm willing to give it a shot. 

I want to eliminate excess stuff. But more than that, I want to rid my life of excess on so many levels. Emotional baggage. Unnecessary weight, chemicals, junk food in my body. Stressful, unorganized life. 

To simplify my eating habits, I've been trying to eat food that comes as close to fresh from the ground as possible. My garden is definitely helping with that. Foods that have been through twelve different steps of processing really have no business being in my body. 

I've even taken up the task of cleaning out my email inbox, deleting everything I don't need, and unsubscribing from all junk mail I receive. It's quite refreshing really. 

I've made a pact with myself. I am making it a goal to not buy any new clothing for a year.  Clothes shopping is a huge stumbling block for me in my journey of simplicity. So, it is the plan that anything that adds itself to my wardrobe will come from a thrift store, a gift, or a hand-me-down. In addition, when I add something to my wardrobe, I plan to get rid of something else, to avoid building up excessive stuff.

Pray for my accountability in this endeavor! 

"Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away." --1 Cor 7:31

May the Lord be glorified through every facet of my life.

"It was a beautiful letdown the day I knew that all the riches this world had to offer me would never do. In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt, I was trying so hard to fit in, until i found out that I don't belong here." --Switchfoot