I miss it... 

.

So much.

Each day the longing grows more deep.

I need to return to Africa soon.

I think one of the hardest things about death
is that five minutes later the rest of the world moves on.

You Never Let Go

 For the time will come when they will not tolerate sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, will accumulate teachers for themselves because they have an itch to hear something new. They will turn away from the hearing the truth and will turn aside to myths. But as for you, keep a clear head about everything, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. --2 Timothy 4:3-5

Sometimes classes teach me one thing
and the Word of God, another.

As we explore the "American Dream" in sociology
I am quickly hit in the face with the undeniable realization
that 99% of the people here
are here so they can have a big house.

Listen.

Why are you here, at college?
So I can get a decent education.

Why do you want an education? 
So I can get a good job.

Why do you want a good job?
So I can make good money.

Why do you want to make good money?
So that I can live comfortably, supporting my family financially with a nice car. And a big house.

And when I realized that, I was made aware that this college things was not going to be nearly as easy as I might have thought. Because I'm not here for a big house. I'm here for God. It's utterly apparent why He would have me here. This campus is in darkness, and it longs for the light.
But the hard part comes in when 99% of the people are here for reasons that don't even make any sense to me.
And what they want is the world.
And what they teach is the world.
And what they love is the world.

And as much as I know that I know that I know that my thoughts do not line up with theirs, there is still an apparent danger in subjecting myself to their lectures, discussions, and attitudes.

Garbage in, garbage out.

And it's exhausting.
It is freaking hard to sit in this institution that people pay tens of thousands of dollars to attend so that I can be fed crap that I immediately reject. It's even harder to sit there and not know if what they are saying lines up with God's word on not. Discernment is hard. It's hard to hear a completely different stance on something and then get to thinking about it...wondering if it's okay to be questioning this or that. Wondering what God says.
These people get paid good money to give us their educated, professional thoughts. And we pay good money to hear them. Assuming the entire way that because they have degrees, what they are saying must be truth.
They teach "an open mind." They teach that it's "good to question things and think for yourself."
But they don't really mean that.
What they really mean is, "It's good to question the old way of thinking and agree with my new way of thinking." "Have an open mind to what I am saying." "Don't think for yourself, think my way, and tell yourself it's your own."

And we buy that crap.
We buy it like the newest version of the iPod.
We pay tens of thousands of dollars for that.

God help us.

Because really all I want is to know.
All I want is to know the truth.
To know what is good, independent thinking
And what is worldly, empty philosophy.

I'm trying.

And it's hard.
Some days are harder than others.
Some days it really sucks
And I don't want to fight the good fight anymore.

But He never lets go.

We know that we are of God, and the whole world is under the sway of the evil one. And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding so that we may know the true One. --1 John 5:19-20

The Lord is the One who will go before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid or discouraged. --Deuteronomy 31:8

And the world with its lust is passing away, but the one who does God's will remains forever. --1 John 2:17

You are from God, little children, and you have conquered them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world, therefore what they say is from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Anyone who knows God listens to us; anyone who is not from God does not listen to us. From this we know the Spirit of Truth from the spirit of deception. -- 1 John 4:4-6

Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him. --James 1:5

The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.. --Psalm 145:18


Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. --Joshua 1:9


My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. --John 10:27-28

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. --Matthew 28:19-20

I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You.

Vote for Me!

Hey look, I wrote an essay! It's a pretty fancy little essay I think. And if I get a ridiculous amount of votes they will give me $5,000 for my exciting college bills! I think you should vote for me. I really do. And I'm not just saying that because I want the money.
Well, yeah, of course I am.
I want the money.
Kay thanks!

Traveling Again!

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope the New Year is treating you well! I am doing well, and I want to bring you up to date on what is happening in my life. I am about halfway through my first year at Western Illinois University. While there, I have been active with Campus Crusade for Christ (CRU), a student Christian ministry. As a Believer, my highest priority has been to grow in my relationship with the Lord and reach students on campus with the good news of Christ, and my involvement with CRU has been incredibly helpful. God has provided a wonderful Christian family for me at school through CRU, along with many opportunities to serve Him on campus. It has truly been a blessing and an answer to prayer. This semester I will begin training to be on CRU’s team of leaders. My roommate and I are also looking forward to starting a girl’s Bible study on our floor. God is doing great things at WIU!

This coming March, I have a unique opportunity to participate in a CRU short-term missions trip in Panama City, FL. Some 3000 college students just like me plan to reach out to over 300,000 college students who are in Panama City.

During my seven-day trip I will not only be trained in evangelism but will also be able to put my training into action. Afternoons and evenings offer incredible opportunities to reach out and share the love of Christ. We will be participating in daily, hands-on evangelism to the students there. Last year there were just over 1000 decisions made for Christ. I am looking forward to seeing how God works through this life changing experience.

In order to attend, I need to develop a financial sponsorship team: a group of people who will help me attend the conference. My total need is $500. I will be travelling with a team of students from WIU, who are also raising support for their trips. Would you prayerfully consider making an investment toward helping me and my CRU family at WIU reach our goal?

If the Lord leads you to help, please make your gift check out to "Campus Crusade for Christ” and send to:

MaryBeth Hornbaker

623 N. Crafford Street, Bushnell IL, 61422

Of course, all gifts are tax deductible.

I would also appreciate your prayer support for our trip, our work for Christ at WIU, and our unity in Christ as a family of believers. I thank the Lord for your friendship and support. Thank you for considering what your role might be in helping make this missions trip a reality for me.

With Love in Christ,

MaryBeth Hornbaker

Indy. can. change. lives.

Last week I went to a five day conference in the heart of Indianapolis.
Here are some of the happenings of the event which were worth taking note of:

• Cru friends becoming Cru family
• A wonderful roommate from Eureka College
• Thousands of college students on fire for God
• Mike Erre -- speaker from Heaven
• "God gave His only son to save the world. Is that not enough? When did that become not enough?
• "There's something about following Him where you have to become convinced that the reward of following Jesus is Jesus."
• "The danger that you run is that sinning forms your character to become the type of person that continues sinning, who may never want to go back to God in the first place."
• "The church in America is so stoppable. We are a nation of consumers -- and churches are just dispensers of religious skits and services."
• "God doesn't delight in what takes us there, but he does some of His best work at the end of our rope -- in the desperate place.
• God is greater than....ALL THINGS.
• The largest Marriot in the WORLD.
• Door-to-door evangelism in the city
• 147 lives given to Christ!
• Late night pillow talk with my Cru sisters
• Not vomitting
• Greg -- an awesome evangelism partner
• Getting to know the body of Christ from different campuses
• Worship like you've never worshiped before
• God's covenant with Abraham -- blowing minds. God walked through twice.
• "You can't quiet time enough. You can't share your faith enough. It has already been paid. When the scripture says there is no condemnation -- there is no condemnation!"
• Twelve people in a seven passenger van. Three in the trunk.
• Flash mob freeze in the mall. For Jesus and for fun.
• God is greater than your present circumstances.
• "There is a gap between how we think our life should be and how it is."
• What do you do when you're in this gap? "Stay alive and thirsty."
• "If life was not difficult, we would never run to God."
• "God will use anything to drive you back to Him."
• "He is not interested in being nice or making us better people. He's interested in rescuing you.
• "Last I checked, the only requirement for entrance into the body of Christ is admission of brokenness, not being put together."
• "If you let it, you will meet God in ways you never have."
• Bekele -- incredible speaker from Ethiopia!
• Learning about the Cru movement in Ethiopia
• Stories of spiritual warfare and the Holy Spirit moving in that country
• A new desire stirred within me to go back
• "Don't ever let money determine God's will in your life."
•  "Jesus Christ can change lives!"
• We say, "This is a crazy plan." -- but God loves crazy plans!
• "Ask God to do something big in your life."

• "There will be difficulties. But, God who called you will stand with you."

• Worshiping and praying in the New Year...best way I can think of. 
• Falling on our knees
• Holding hands in prayer
• Loving the people I was with. So much.
• "Not for a moment will you forsake me."
• A worship band that's all about God and not about themselves
• "The question is how do you help someone who is not a believer? ...I would say there is no hope outside of Jesus."
• Seminars on relevant topics. Things that we care about and want to learn about.
• Open your eyes to yourself and where God is in your life.
• Josh Coooyyyyyy!
• Completing the inflatable obstacle course. Like a boss.
• Best dance party I've ever been to
• Kasey loves us. 
• The anticipation of spring break conference!
• And we'll never be the same.

The mountains shake before Him
The demons run and flee
At the mention of the name
King of Majesty.
There is no power in hell
Or any who can stand
Before the power and the presence of the Great I am!