What's the point of all this if you're not going to let it change you?

...So I let it change me.

The story goes something like this:
      I went to a youth conference last weekend in St. Louis called Dare2Share. I really didn't know much about it before I went. All I knew was that it included a road trip and a weekend away, and that is just what I felt like I needed. So I got invited by the youth pastor at church and went with him, his wife, and three other girls who I really didn't know that well. I knew it was a conference centered on evangelism -- you know, sharing the gospel with people, straight up? I figured I was pretty well versed in this subject already, having grown up in the church and such. But, like I said, I was desperately looking forward to that weekend away.
     Why was I so looking forward to it, might you ask? Well, life was just getting uber overwhelming at the home base. Between divorces and police interviews and people confiding in me about things way beyond my maturity level....I was longing for an escape.
       But before I went, I prayed. I know it's easy to get super pumped up about God during retreats like this. Conferences, camps, concerts, revivals: they give us what I like to call a God high -- that temporary enthusiasm about the amazingness of Jesus that makes you want to jump around and shout about it to everyone you know. Now I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with God highs. But the thing is, like every high, they are temporary. They fade away within a few days. And then you're back where you started. And then what was the point of all of that? What was the point of the concert, conference, camp, etc., if it was only going to affect me for a few days? I've had my fair share of God-highs in life. And they've been totally awesome. But I was feeling exhausted and burdened last weekend, and I found myself saying to God something like this:

I don't really want a God-high this time. I don't want something this is just going to fade away in a couple of days. I want to get something out of this weekend. I want to be moved. I want to be changed. I want to find peace. I have no idea what you have in store for me at this conference. But, if at all possible, Lord, could you please fill me with some sort of peace that just destroys all of my burdens and lasts? Because, that's what I need. I don't need to jump up and down for a few days and get all emotional about it. I just. Need. Peace.

Dear friend, I believe strongly in the power of prayer. I believe God responds when his children get passionate and real about things. I've experienced God in that way time after time.

You know, there's something about being surrounded by 6,000 other people your age who are worshiping the same God you live for, that just takes your breath away. There's something about a room filled with so much passion for the gospel of Christ that just brings a sense of contentment about you.

Last weekend I got a refreshing reminder of the bigger picture. The bigger purpose. The reason we're here. God took my hand and calmed me. He gave me three beautiful girls to get to know and share my story with. He showed me how incredibly powerful he is and how urgent his message is. He introduced me to new people. He moved me through speakers who had their stuff together.

I got fired up about God last weekend, I did. But, naturally, it faded.
But I got something else in that arena in the middle of St. Louis.
Peace.
The peace that surpasses all understanding.
I can't tell you specifically where it came from or how I got it.
It wasn't one specific thing someone said or a specific amazing song we sang.
It wasn't this relationship that was formed or that time I spent in prayer.
It was the weekend. The conference. The experience. The getaway.
It was GOD.

...and as I sat on the floor of the church we would be sleeping at on Friday night, I mindlessly flipped through my bible. And then, this: 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

All throughout the weekend this line from a movie was constantly playing through my head. Over and over.

"What's the point of all this if you're not going to let it change you."

...so I let it change me.