Lexapro

I hate that little white pill that I take every morning
almost as much as I hate the orange one.

The one I'm currently weaning myself off of
so that my body doesn't explode or something

while I try to find another assortment of chemicals
that will do the job it is failing to do,

that will make me happy.


I hate having to swallow my happiness in a pea-sized capsule every morning
almost as much as I hate
when people fling their opinions at me
that Christians shouldn't take anti-depressants
they should just find more joy in God
as if that isn't the most offensive statement you could make
towards me at this very moment in time


I hate dominating the side effect list of every pill I ever swallow:
"excessive sweating, insomnia, inability to focus, loss of appetite, abnormal dreams, restlessness."

and not being able to sleep for two weeks
while I "figure out the right balance for my body."

I begged God for help
and He gave me this pill
and that doctor who gets me
and that other pill for when this pill stopped working.

And I hate that answer

almost as much
as I thank God for it every day.