College is a Battleground

When I was young
they told me to trust my teachers
for what they said was wise, knowledgable, and true

We are now playing a different game

If I trusted each word
that was so eloquently
inserted into my mind
here

I would lose myself

I live on a battleground where
flowers equal sex
and
Freud equals wise

Sex, sex, and sex are the subject matter today

"We haven't discussed what going on with sex.
It woudn't be a lit. class if I didn't write
sex
on the board,
huh?"

perhaps tomorrow my ears will be graced
with lessons on
"The Christian creation myth"
and factors which argue that the
"mystical traditions of Christianity and Buddhism
are teaching the same things"

"Aren't all humans actually werewolves?"
Dr. T asks, intending to pose a rhetorical question

The class stares, possibly buying into him
as I promtly break the silence with a vehement

"No."

Question after question
word after word
of falsehood

"Is beauty something different from evolution?"

"I know we are all just machines,
and I hate that
because I like the idea of being
completely
and
utterly
in
control."

I live on a battleground
where spritual warfare is waging like
this is its home

and discernment is my prayer
with every classroom that I enter.

For the time will come when they will not tolerate sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, will multiply teachers for themselves because they have an itch to hear something new. They will turn away from hearing the truth and will turn aside to myths.  But as for you, be serious about everything, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.
II Timothy 4:3-5

Contradiction

I
saw
a man
light a cigarette
the moment he step-
ped out of the rec. today.

I had salad for lunch yesterday

and three pumpkin bars for dessert.

Sometimes it seems that
all we can really do
is just try to
balance
things
out.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

My friend Emily and I were talking tonight
about how we want to go far away and experience the world,
and love Jesus and love people,
making disciples of all nations.

We're tired of the American dream,
and we haven't even started living it yet.
We don't want dental insurance
and we're not sure what the point of this
college degree thing is.

It all got me thinking about how
I still have no idea what I
"want to do with my life."

Since that is the question
we all face each day.
At least, all of us college kids.

And, how I don't really even have
any particular liking for the career
I am studying to pursue.

And, how I already feel that
when I return from Ethiopia
my heart will just long for more.

Emily told me that her parents are
starting to prepare themselves
for the possibility that she will never
really settle in America,
the only land she's ever known.

I wonder if I will ever really settle in America.

I wonder what God has for me.

Oh, how I wonder.

In the midst of my wondering,
my mind likes to toss around the idea of this:
http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=about

11 countries in 11 months.

...I wonder.

Ethiopia 2013

A video about my upcoming missions trip. Enjoy!

Coffee Shop

An attractive
middle-eastern
couple
chats endlessly over a hot beverage
across the room.

Her head covered,
his eyes on fire.

Their plates were empty
hours ago.

As she smiles,
he laughs.

She puts her head in her hands
and giggles
as he tells stories
in a language I can't comprehend.

I think
they must love each other.

I really have no doubt.

 

Convicted

I've been spending my life
creating running schedules
and buying thrift store jeans
and not wearing shoes
and memorizing poetry
and figuring out gas prices for trips with Christians

but I haven't been telling people about Jesus

and that might be the only thing that matters.

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?
Romans 10:14

I've only just begun the several hour process
of studying things like
"the accretion of solar nebula to make planets"
and
"the discovery of the Moho/crust mantle boundary"
for tomorrow's exam,

And all my heart wants
is to gently rock a small
African baby to sleep,
singing hymns
and pouring love,
knowing that the brighter days are ahead.

 

The Thought of Living in America for the Rest of My Life

Scares the crap out of me.

But, when I pondered this, I realized that the thought of
living in another country for the rest of my life

also scares the crap out of me.

Each for different reasons, of course.

My soul burns with passion for missions.
I am on fire, and I want to go.
And do.
And make disciples.

I just switched my major
in order to get certified to teach High School English.
With this, another semester was added to my total university time.

Each day I am able to grasp a little more
the idea that I may actually be here
on this college campus
for three and a half more years.

Sometimes I'm not sure if I can make it,
if I want to make it,
or if I'm supposed to make it.

Three and a haf years is a long time from now.

Nearly 2016.

I think I would be surprised if I was still here.
I think I would be surprised if I was still in America.
But, I'm utterly aware that my God is a God of surprises
and often calls us to the unexpected.

Fact: I love being a missionary at Western Illinois University.
Is it what I thought I would be doing with these four years of my life?
Not even a little tiny bit.

But, I love it.
I love telling people about Jesus in a way they've never heard Him explained before.
I love stuffing ten women into a dorm room to study the Word and share hearts.
I love running on empty streets in the morning and dedicating my day to God's glory.
I love sharing every meal with a community of believers who want to see this campus on fire for God.
I love meeting new people, and realizing they love Jesus too, and aren't quite sure what they're doing at college either.
I love evenings spent at a coffee shop, worshiping Jesus and sipping hot chai with caramel.
I love that this existence is not putting me into debt.
I love the absolutely incredible friends and Christian community God has lavished upon me.
I love diversity and experiences and my possibly high, gay poetry professor.
I love learning and growing and buying my own deodorant.
I love being a part of a movement for Christ that is changing lives every day.

Yet, in it's own way, every day comes with a moment of dissatisfaction.
Because I don't want what this University is trying to give me.
And I don't want what America is trying to push me toward.
And the deepest parts of my being are on FIRE
to GO.
and do.
and serve.
and tell of Jesus.
and experience the world.
and love the orphans.
and rescue women from sex-trafficking.
and pray for broken bodies to be made whole.
and cook a meal for a starving child.
and make disciples of all the nations.

A God-loving student I met at a conference last year just left for a missions trip called World Race.
He is going to 11 countries in 11 months
and being the hands and feet of Jesus
all over the world.

And my soul burns with the hope
that one day I would find myself
doing the same.

I am going to Ethiopia for a month and a half over the summer.
If I didn't have that, I don't know what I would do.

Because the thought of living in America for the rest of my life
is one that I cannot quite handle.

The American dream sounds terribly dissatifying to me.
I just want to go and do.

To say that I don't know why God has put me here on this campus in America right now
would be a lie.

I know.
You probably even know.
The movement happening here is no secret.
It's a big deal. And it's awesome.

If it wasn't for this missions field on campus, I would have no reason to be here.
So with that, I push on.

I long to go.
But, God has me staying for now.

It is only my hope that the staying is temporary,
and the going is permanent.

God, grant me patience and satisfaction.

"I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God." --Ecclesiastes 3:12-13

Walking down Adams Street this morning
smelled of alcohol and promiscuity.

I don't think I've ever struggled with judging others
so much in my life as I do at school.

With feeling like I'm better than every
broken soul playing beer pong
in a front yard across the street.
Like I have it all together,
And they hardly deserve my time.

Last night I closed my window to drown out the cries
of drunken college students searching for
life in a bottle.

God, soften my heart.
Give me your eyes.
Have mercy.

"Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."
-Matthew 7:1-5 (The Message)
 

Today I noticed a wearied tree
leaves falling
falling
falling

Mahogany crisps
gently cascading
the ever-patient earth

Autumn

Do not delay
for humanity waits
in desperation
for your arrival

Ethiopia 2013 is Happening!

Dear friends and family,

                                 

It is with great joy that I write this letter and am able to share with you what God has laid on my heart.

I am going back to Ethiopia!

After my two-week stay in that beloved country in 2011, I knew I had to go back. I suppose it was never really a question to me whether I would return to Ethiopia or not. From the moment I stepped foot on that dusty, African soil, the question never was, 'will I return?' but, 'when will I return?’ It's never been an option not to go back. How could I not return to the nation God has so lovingly called me to?

Throughout the crazy process of transitioning to college life over the past year and a half, I spent a lot more time than anticipated longing for Africa. Going to Africa changed me far more than I ever expected it would. It changed everything from the way I go grocery shopping to the amount of time I leave the faucet running while brushing my teeth. It changed how I pray and how I feel when I see commercials of impoverished children on television. Ethiopia changed my understanding of worship and sacrifice and joy. It truly grew me in ways far beyond my understanding.

When I returned to America last year, I often referred to the idea that I left part of my heart in Africa. I fully expected that feeling to wear off over time. But, it never quite did. Sometimes, it even seemed to grow stronger. Some part of me - something now ingrained deep within my being - longs desperately for that dirty, smelly, torn-down, blessed country.

After much prayer and petition, I am elated that God has allowed me the opportunity to return to the place where part of my heart will forever be.

In May of 2013 I will be travelling back to Debre Zeit, Ethiopia. There, I will spend six weeks serving as a short-term missionary. With Blessing the Children International (BCI), the same organization I worked through last year, I will have the opportunity to work side-by-side with Ethiopian social workers, spending my days ministering to children who are in the BCI child sponsorship program. Some of the areas I will get to be involved in are organizing children's activity days, serving in local churches, ministering to orphans at BCI's foster home, daily home visits to provide donations and prayer to impoverished families, and building relationships with fellow believers halfway across the world.

My prayer is that I would willingly serve God with reckless abandonment throughout the entire duration of this trip. It is my desire that His will be done through my life and the lives of those I will come in contact with in Ethiopia. Would you please consider joining me in prayer for my adventure that is to come? Pray for my heart to be prepared for all that God has for me in Ethiopia. Also, keep Blessing the Children and all of those whom they are ministering to in your prayers. Pray that I may be used as an instrument to share God's love in a foreign land.

 "For the intense prayer of the righteous is very powerful."  --James 5:16.

I also ask that you would prayerfully consider supporting my trip financially. My total funds needed for this six-week stay is $4,500, which will cover airfare, room and board, transportation to ministry sites, and project funds. While this number may seem like a giant during these economic times, I am confident that God will provide what is needed to allow me to follow His call to Ethiopia. I ask that you would consider a monetary donation toward this trip if the Lord lays it upon your heart. If you are interested in supporting me financially, please use the information below.

I thank you immensely for your support and encouragement as I embark upon this journey. With great joy and anticipation, I look forward to sharing this experience with you. May we all come together to see the will of the Lord be done.

With Love in Christ,

 MaryBeth Hornbaker

To Support Ethiopia 2013:

Donations can be made payable to MaryBeth Hornbaker and sent to me at 623 North Crafford Street, Bushnell IL, 61422. To make a tax-deductable donation, please make checks payable to Blessing the Children International and send to the same address. Donations can also be made online at www.followyou2013.blogspot.com. Thank you!

Why I am Indifferent Toward Getting a College Degree, and Other Controversial Musings

You might hate me after reading this, just a fair warning.

I feel like I've kind of been hiding parts of myself from some of you for a while now. Or rather, I feel that I have perhaps been miscommunicating my true intentions. What I'm doing with my life right now is probably not quite what you thought I was doing, and I wanted to let you know.

It's not that I've purposely been lying to anyone about my current state of being. It's more like...I've been avoiding giving everyone the full details.
It seems I've been unnervingly terrified of your judgement
and perhaps of your mother's judgement
and her friend so-and-so's.

And I didn't want you to think I was wasting my life.
And I feared you might tell your children not to grow up like me.
And I wasn't completely sure of myself anyway
So I didn't want proclaim something that I wasn't sure I had my heart in 100%
Because what if I reneged?
Then what would you tell your children?

But since I've been doing this for a year now, I figured it was quite time you understood my intentions.

“We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all.”
― John Hughes, The Breakfast Club

I'm not going to college to get a degree.
And I don't believe that is what God has me there for, either.

If my sole motivation for being in college was to receive a piece of paper that may help me land a job that pays two dollars an hour higher than the job I had when I was sixteen, I wouldn't have made it through semester number one.
I needed another reason to be there.

You see, I'm not really sure what I was thinking, signing up for four more years of school in the first place. I suppose I didn't really know what else to do. It seemed like a better option than pulling cans of green beans to the font of a shelf at the local grocery store for the rest of my life. Maybe I was just looking for somewhere to go and something to do until I found this husband character who was going to sweep me off my feet and insist I drop out of college, volunteer at a Christian coffee shop, raise our three beautiful children from home, and make yearly trips to third-world countries to love on impoverished orphans.

I've never really been much of a career-minded individual. I've thought about jobs I might like to have in the future -- even tried three times to select my major accordingly. It turns out, I just don't really want to be a career woman. I know that's not what I'm supposed to say. I'm supposed to stand up and claim my power as an independent woman who can climb to the top without any man supporting her along the way! But, as it turns out, I kind of just want to be a wife and a mom and a home-maker. I want to fold laundry and cook dinner and braid little girls' hair.
Or maybe I want to move to Africa and adopt twelve children and live in a shack on a dirt road, eating stale bread and green oranges for dinner.

Either way, my desires in this life do not require a college degree or a well-paying job or a big house with apple trees and a swingset in the backyard.
This "American Dream" that I've been hearing about kind of sounds like a load of crap to me.
And, there is simply nothing in me that cares if I walk away from a university in three years with a Bachelor's of Such and Such to my name.

Yet here I am, packing up my mini-fridge and emergency first aid kit to move into my 10 by 7 foot dorm for the second year in a row. Here I am, registering for classes like "Introduction to New Media" and "Exploring Eastern Religions."

I spend my evenings at coffee shops writing papers about the emergence of King Arthur in nineteenth century literature. I eat three meals a day in a cafeteria that caused me to gain fifteen pounds my first year. I buy four months worth of deodorant at a time so I don't have to leave campus to get more. I am a college student every day of my life.

For what?

I spent a while trying to figure it out in the begining -- why God would have me here at this mediocre, far-from-conservative, gettin-wasted-every-night, non-Christian school that teaches me about how homosexuality is possibly even more of a natural way of connecting than heterosexuality, and it seems that we were perhaps even made to be with someone of the same sex.

But if you read that sentence again...
and try to figure out why God would have me at WIU...
it all seems very clear.

Where did I think God wanted me?
In some sort of cookie-cutter Christian bubble, floating around with a warm-hearted smile while we all supported each other in our missions trips to various unpronouncable nations and secretly were completely envious of our roomate's boyfriends and our non-Christian friend's ability to stay out past ten on weeknights...11 on weekends?

  "I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me." -- Acts 26:17-18

He sends us into the darkest places to proclaim His light.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." --John 1:5

So I went to college at a mediocre, secular, party school. And, I didn't want to. But God made it clear to me in many ways that He had a place for me there.
And I prayed that He would send me anywhere else instead.
And in response, He provided me with a four-year scholarship to my mediocre, party school.

And I laughed.
And I sighed.
And I went.

And, It's all kind of been a whirlwind since then.
For a while, classes were my priority,
but I got over that pretty fast.

Soon, God began moving in ways that I couldn't even comprehend.
And people started giving their lives to Jesus,
and sixteen baptisms, and the most incredible Christian community I've ever experienced, and walking up to strangers in a cafeteria to tell them about Jesus, and spending my weekends in prayer and worship and my week nights at Bible study. And it was incredibly bazaar. I've never heard of anything like it...going to college for Jesus, not for an education.

But, that kind of seems to be what I'm doing.

Don't worry, I'm still regularly attending my classes and working hard to do well in them. I'm still learning as much as I can and staying on track to graduate in four years. I'm still trying to work at what I do as if working for the Lord and not for man.
But really, what I'm doing is being a missionary in one of the darkest places I've ever been.

It's been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life,
and it's only just begun.

I must be honest, though. While I am enthused about what God is doing on my campus and what He has given me the opportunity to participate in, I don't have any incredible attachment to this place.
I certainly don't have an attachment to graduating with a degree.
And, I'd be pretty okay if God called me someplace else when my time at WIU was up.
I'd be fine with leaving early to go to Africa or get married or go wherever the heck He told me to go.

I know this is weird.
It's isn't normal.
It's certainly quite controversial.

But I'm pretty much ready to say,
Screw normalcy.

I just want to love my life and figure out who I am and follow God wherever He leads me.

And, maybe I'm totally off in all of these theories I've got about life and love and God.
If I am, I suppose I will learn that lesson in the days to come.
And, maybe you don't approve of what I'm doing with my life,
thinking I'm "wasting my scholarship and valuable taxpayer dollars" on this little phase I'm going through.

Maybe I have this all wrong.
But at least I've got something.

So, there you have it.
There is my life as of late.
When you think of me at college during your afternoon ponderings, don't think of me as a full-time student, think of me as a full-time missionary, paying my way to be there by attending classes.

And, I suppose I will just continue on in this dark world, attempting to shine with every ounce of light I have in me.
And the darkness against me won't prevail.

“Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told." --Hab 1:5

Why Are You Going Back to Africa?

...Why would I not?

I suppose it never really was a question to me whether I would return to Ethiopia or not. From the moment I stepped foot in that precious country, the question never was, 'will I return?' It was, 'when will I return?'

It's not an option to not go back. How could I not?

So, once I got back to America last summer, I began praying about when God would have me return. While my heart desperately longed to return this summer, God had a better plan. In order to give my soul some rest and to get some financial footing, God pointed me toward the summer of 2013.

Throughout the crazy process of transitioning to college life over the past year, I spent a lot more time than anticipated longing for Africa. Going to Africa changed me. When I got back last year I often referred to the idea that I left part of my heart in Africa.
I fully expected that feeling to wear off over time.
But, it really never did.
Sometimes, it even seemed to grow stronger.
Some part of me - something now ingrained deep within my being - longs desperately for that dirty, smelly, torn-down, blessed country.

I need to go back.
Not one day has gone by over the past year when I did not think, with fondness, about my country abroad. While I have been able to keep my focus and priority on the ministry God has placed me in here, and while I love and fully enjoy the movement I get to be a part of on campus, my heart feels a bit torn sometimes.
Torn between American and Ethiopia.
Right now, it seems, God has allowed me to have both.
What a blessing.

The Big Bread

I recall one day last year when I was particularly longing to be in Ethiopia. I missed the people there. I missed the smells and the tastes and the weather. I longed for the funky trees and the dirt roads and the barefoot orphans chasing me down the street. I missed greeting friends with three kisses on the cheek. I missed shaking the hand of every single person upon entering a room. I wanted popcorn served with sugar and coffee so strong I could gag. I longed to fall asleep to the aroma of bug-spray-soaked sheets. I missed donkeys and cows right beside me as I walked down the streets. I craved green oranges and the big bread. I yearned for morning devotions taught in Amharic and English, dancing and praising God like He was something to get excited about, watching a child's face as he received his first pair of shoes, and taking warm dinner to a lonely security guard each evening.

Green Oranges!

And on this day, I wept.
I wept for Africa. For the people who were in need. For my inability to comfort them. For how much I take for granted. For how much faith they have despite their circumstances. For my little boy, uncertain of his heart's condition. For my great friend, working so hard for so little.
It is not often that I weep for Africa.
But on this day, I did.
And I knew I had to go back.
Not because Africa needs me.
But because I need Africa.

I hear it said sometimes as a joke, "God, I'll go wherever you want, but please don't send me to Africa."
It's funny though.
Because God sending me to Africa was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
And, I am so incredible grateful that He is sending me back.
I know God doesn't need me to do the work that he has planned for that country.
I know He could use anyone who was just willing to go.

I guess I'm just overwhelmingly blessed, that although God didn't need me to do His work, He has chosen me and is allowing me to be a part of His perfect plan for Ethiopia.

One of my best friend named Tigist.
She is 21 years old and she works full time in Ethiopia as a social worker for Blessing the Children. Last year, when I met her, she was 20, working more hours than she was scheduled for, for no pay. She told us she had to work with the organization for so long and acquire a certain number of children to care for before she started receiving a salary. She spent every single day visiting the homes of orphaned and impoverished children. She played with them and prayed with them and loved on them and their families. Her love for these kids was so incredible. She loved them as if they were her own. When I commented on how well she loved the children, she told me, "A lot of these children don't have parents, but God has given them to me so I can be their mother." Her devotion to working for the Lord and pouring every ounce of her love out on the children amazed me. I am 19. She was 20. And, she was born and raised in that impoverished nation. I know that what she was doing at her age was far beyond anything I could be capable of at my age. This woman blew my mind. Tigist and I write letters back and forth as often as the mail system will deliver them. Right now, she is still working for BCI full time, finally receiving pay. With her salary, she is taking a bus into the city an hour away every evening to attend college.
Like I said, this woman blows my mind.
And, oh, how I cannot wait to return to her!

My faraway sister, Tigist

My sweet baby boy Nati will be one of the first I beg to see upon returning to Ethiopia. I began sponsoring this darling right after I returned last year, and he has made an imprint on my heart unlike anything I've ever felt before. I believe that I  have quite possibly never loved anyone the way I love this little boy. He is part of me now. I cannot believe I am going to have the chance to hold this little guy in my arms again.

The blessings God has lavished upon me are innumerable.

The day I met Nati

I get to go back to Africa.

Why am I going back?
Like I said,
How could I not?

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" -- Isaiah 6:8

Simplifying

"Seek to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, so that you may walk properly in the presence of outsiders and not be dependent on anyone." 1 Thes 4:11-12

I have been spending the last few months attempting to simplify my life. I can't say that I'm succeeding phenomenally or anything, but I'm trying. I'm trying to get rid of my excess clothes. I'm trying to weed through all of the crap I have accumulated under my bed, in my closet, and in the attic over the years. My dorm room next year will measure ten feet by eight feet, and I am super stoked to be forced to downsize my life into that space. 

I'm trying to hold myself accountable to not buy anything that is not a necessity. While I am utterly failing at this concept, it is something that I want to continue to reach for. 

You see, the thing about this stuff is that it's slowing me down. I want to be free and light and able to pick up and go anywhere God sends me. Recently I learned of a couple from New Zealand who moved themselves and their young children to a less-then-glamorous house on a dirt street in third-world Ethiopia where they will be serving as full-time missionaries. And, I thought to myself..."What if God called me to do that?" Even if my spirit was willing to go, I would have a lot of things to manage before I could actually leave. There would be so much stuff to go through. So many things I rely on that would have to be cut off. But, what I want... what I believe may be God's desire for us, is the ability to get up and go, wherever he calls me, whenever he calls me. 

“The simplification of anything is always sensational.” 
― G.K. Chesterton

Going to Ethiopia... changed my life. It changed so many things about the way I live and move and breathe. It drastically altered what I desired to be satisfied. 

America is so... distorted... in it's mindset of what is enough.

There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less. --G. K. Chesterton

I'm choosing to desire less, because I know that nothing on this earth will ever truly satisfy me. 

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. And, I am the rich man. 

Lord, help me simplify my life. 

When you picture Jesus, do you ever see him carrying a bunch of stuff around with him? As he traveled from place to place, was he carrying a backpack or perhaps a few suitcases of odds and ends to increase his comfort? Did he have a bedroom back at Mary and Joseph's home, full of keepsakes and other items collecting dust?

I'm almost positive he didn't. It just wouldn't make any sense. Jesus didn't belong here. This world was not his home. He was only a temporary resident fulfilling a mission, awaiting the day he returned Home. Why in the world would he have...stuff? 

And, cannot the exact same be said for you and me?

"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body...." Philippians 3:20

So here I go, on a long path of attempted simplification. How truly I can ever do that in this country, I'm not sure. But I'm willing to give it a shot. 

I want to eliminate excess stuff. But more than that, I want to rid my life of excess on so many levels. Emotional baggage. Unnecessary weight, chemicals, junk food in my body. Stressful, unorganized life. 

To simplify my eating habits, I've been trying to eat food that comes as close to fresh from the ground as possible. My garden is definitely helping with that. Foods that have been through twelve different steps of processing really have no business being in my body. 

I've even taken up the task of cleaning out my email inbox, deleting everything I don't need, and unsubscribing from all junk mail I receive. It's quite refreshing really. 

I've made a pact with myself. I am making it a goal to not buy any new clothing for a year.  Clothes shopping is a huge stumbling block for me in my journey of simplicity. So, it is the plan that anything that adds itself to my wardrobe will come from a thrift store, a gift, or a hand-me-down. In addition, when I add something to my wardrobe, I plan to get rid of something else, to avoid building up excessive stuff.

Pray for my accountability in this endeavor! 

"Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away." --1 Cor 7:31

May the Lord be glorified through every facet of my life.

"It was a beautiful letdown the day I knew that all the riches this world had to offer me would never do. In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt, I was trying so hard to fit in, until i found out that I don't belong here." --Switchfoot

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.” John Cage

Reading, writing, growing, running, learning, teaching, making...
This summer is turning out to be pretty stellar. 
I've casually referred to it as 
"the summer of productivity"
and "the summer of trying new things."
Exploring newness and getting stuff done are pretty much filling up my days,
and I am loving every minute of it.
Here's a peak into some of the things I have been creating as of late.


This lovely trio was made by a few college friends and I during a spontaneous summer trip. All of the designs were inspired by artwork found on Pinterest (which I have recently cut myself off from due to its addictive qualities). I gave them as a set to my friend Erin as a high school graduation gift, though I secretly long for them on my own wall. 

 For a while now, I've been wanting to experiment with making my own household cleaning products. So, since it is the summer of trying new things and all, I gave it a go. I actually acquired this recipe from my grandmother. She was so excited I was trying it out! Here's the recipe:

 Laundry Detergent 
1 cup -- Borax
1/2 cup – Arm & Hammer Washing Soda
1 bar fels naptha
Large bucket -- hold 3 gallons of water easily
Water
Essential Oil or Fragrance Oil (optional)
Grate bar of soap. Put in saucepan with 5 cups boiling water. Boil until melted. While your soap is melting, add 3 gallons of hot water to your bucket. To the hot water, add 1 cup of Borax and 1/2 cup of Washing Soda. Stir with long handled spoon until dissolved. Add the melted soap water to the bucket and stir well. If you want to add any fragrance, add it now. Stir stir stir. Cover the bucket and set aside for 24 hours. Use ½ cup per load. 
This recipe has worked amazingly for me! My laundry gets clean and it's super easy and cheap. Once you do it once, you'll never go back.

If you're worried about your clothes being soft, here's a fabric softener recipe I made. 

Fabric Softener

6 cups water
3 cups white vinegar
2 cups hair conditioner
Mix all ingredients together. Stir, do not shake. Shaking will cause foaming. Use ¼ cup per load or spray on a washcloth and add to dry cycle.


This fabric softener is where it's at. My mom says her laundry is softer than when we were using brand-name softener. So, that's pretty legit. 
I look forward to using these recipes when I return to college in the fall. I'm all about saving money and cutting out the unknown chemicals. 


Summer = bugs. And I don't care for them at all. I also don't care for deet at all. Sooo....here is my homemade bug spray recipe. I've been using this for a few weeks, and it really works! It also smells lovely. Hooray for all natural replacements. 

Bug Spray
4oz distilled water
Essential Oils: 
20 drops eucalyptus oil
10 drops peppermint oil
15 drops tea tree oil
10 drops lemongrass oil
10 drops clove oil
Put water in a 4oz spray bottle. Add oil, shake well before each use. May use a variety of other essential oils. 

After trying a variety of different concoctions, I decided that it was either go big or go home when it comes to garden pest control. So, here is my very pungent pesticide recipe.

Vegetable Garden Pesticide

2-3 garlic bulbs 
6 large or 12 smaller hot chilli peppers (any variety will do, or if unavailable try 1-2 tablespoon hot chilli powder)
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
3 squirts of liquid detergent (I use castile soap)
7 cups water. (Use about 2-3 cups in the blender, and top up with the rest after blending)
Put the whole lot into a blender and liquify, then strain through muslin, a coffee filter or similar. Pour what you need into a spray bottle for use and keep the rest in jars with lids on in a cupboard or on a shelf somewhere, well labeled.

Here are a few cleaners I have found to work really well. I'll have my own bathroom next year in my dorm, which means I will be cleaning my own bathroom. So, here's what I've got. 


Disinfectant/All Purpose spray    
use to clean countertops, toilets, tile floors, end tables, sinks, and bathtubs.
2 Tablespoons Borax 
4 Tablespoons White distilled vinegar
1 Tablespoon Dr. Bronner's Liquid Castile Soap
3 Cups HOT Water
Add essential oil for scent (optional)
Funnel the Borax into an empty spray bottle. Add the vinegar. The action of this and the vinegar activates the solution. Add the Castile Soap. Add HOT Water


Mirror Cleaner/Air Freshener
1 1/2 cups of vinegar
1/2 cup water
8 drops of essential oil 
Mix in a spray bottle.


And, last but not least is my most recent project. This is an air freshener/deodorizer. Perfect for dorm-sized rooms and bathrooms!
It's super easy. 
Put 1/2 cup of baking soda in a small mason jar
Add 10-15 drops essential oil
I made two -- one with peppermint and eucalyptus oil
and one with lemongrass and clove oil.
Take out the center part of the lid and cut a piece of
craft paper the same size. 
Fasten the jar with the craft paper in the lid
and poke holes in the paper with a needle.
I had my doubts about this idea when I saw it.
But, it actually works! 
I put one in our bathroom and one in my bedroom
just a few days ago, and they both make the rooms
smell really good. 
I'm planning to get some lavender oil before I move 
into my dorm. 


 “Truly creative people care a little about what they have done, and a lot about what they are doing. Their driving focus is the life force that surges in them now.” — Alan Cohen