Redo.

Did you know that I can't fix it?
All of these things that I'm supposed to be fixing.
I can't do it.
I don't work like that. No matter how hard I try, it is never going to be fixed.
I fail. At fixing my life.

Sometimes the above statements are super frustrating. Because, like, I've pretty much determined that I'm always going to have things to work on, things that can be improved, ways that I can be following God's perfect plan even closer.
Yep. It's not ever going to end. Lalala....the process.

Embrace the process, yo. That's what I'm getting to. That's kind of always what I'm getting to.

Fix it. Fix it. Fix it.

...I can't.

Well, not on my own at least. I can't come anywhere close to fixing it on my own. You can't fix it for me either. It's also not one of those one time fix situations, like when you super glue the head back on your moms willow tree figurine so she doesn't know you broke it. That's probably going to stay for the rest of your life. It doesn't need fixed again. Good as new.

Life is more like when you paint the porch at the beginning of every summer, and it looks really good for a while. But by the time the leaves fall and winter wears it down the paint pretty much looks really crappy by the next summer. Sigh...so we have to paint it again. Yeah. That's kind of like a lot of life's trials. We have to paint them again every summer. Keep on working on them. We can't just work on them once and then say, hey, glad that's all better now. Cuz that's probably not going to last for your whole life. It's got to be a process. Does that make any sense?

But also I can't paint it on my own. I can't fix it on my own. Trying to fix it on my own would be like trying to paint the porch with one of those little brushes that came with your watercolor set in elementary school. It's gonna cause you a lot more pain and distress than it's even worth. And it's probably not ever going to get fixed to the point that you would be content with, either.

So how do I get a bigger brush? Or even like...a roller? And maybe a couple of people to help me paint as well.

Oh...yeah....Jesus.
Woot!

I can't fix it. And you can't fix it for me. Only he knows how to fix it.
Only he can truly make me whole again.

Jealousy.
Anger.
Unforgiveness.
Greed.
Materialism.
Hatred.
Lack of self-love.
Lack of love for others.
Distractions.
Peer pressure.
Laziness.

First, you need a bigger paint brush.
Second, you need to paint it again when it gets worn down.

A.k.a. Jesus and the process.

Yeah...I'm glad I've sort of figured these things out.